End of the history

I talked with him about that, I told how I felt and thanks God he understood, I knew he would but I felt insecure so I thought he would feel bad.

He apologize and thanked me for telling him, he is the most kind, amazing, I don't know how to put in words how I feel for him. He is the type of person that makes my soul warm, this shy flawed human whose entire electrochemical signals in his brain makes me chill, the person I hope to hear the church bell ringing by my side with a ring on my hand and this princess dress I dream of, the person I want to  be on my side while we see each other getting eat by parasites in the middle of the dirt.

I'm happy he actually noticed that after what I said and told me he would try his best.

Guilty

I'm afraid to tell him about what I said last post, he do anything for me, he loves me, I know he was trying and I know he didn't did that purposely. But I want him to know about what I am upset, I'm afraid this gonna make him sad because I know he tries for me, I don't know if I'm being selfish. 

"Oh Amanda, you got upset with this, you can't choose if you got sad with something or not" but what if I became sad because I am selfish?

PMS hits different when u got upset

I don't know how to explain the whole thing/history etc, so I'm gonna make a resume with an analogy so u guys can understand.

You and your friend go to tu a burger shop, the social rule is that when u r with someone when u got your burger u stay on your friend side until they got theirs so then you guys go sit and eat. But, sometimes your friend got their burger and go sit and start eating before you get yours.

This makes me sad, I want my friend to stay by my side until I got my burger, yes, he waited with me for a time, but when he got his burger he just go and eat. CAN'T YOU JUST WAIT A LITTLE MORE FOR ME? You waited sometimes and sometimes not. I DON'T WANT TO ASK YOU!! I'm not going to ask you to wait with me, it makes look like I'm forcing you to do something you don't want to, I want you to do this because you want. You order a cheeseburger, I order a triple bacon, mine takes longer to make and you know that. 

I'm not going to count this time as one of the times this happened because we were in a rush, but this happened more than one time.

My friend is awesome, he cares about me, do anything for me, is a gentleman, anything good you can imagine HE IS!

I go to the restaurant because I wanted to enjoy with you, wait with you and even give more attention to your burger than mine because I like you and I want you to enjoy your burger, but it seems you only care about yours, it seems you just look at my burger a little only because I'm looking at yours.

I never really cared much for the restaurant but I actually like the restaurant because I'm going with YOU! And I want you to give more attention for this, I want you to give more effort for me, just a little, please. The other times I was just a little disappointed but today I felt so bad because of this that I'm literally crying so hard right now.

I don't know how to tell him, he noticed I was down when we went to a bar after but I told him it was PMS (some part of it really is) every snowflake becomes a snowball when I'm on PMS so I don't know if it is bullshit or not. I'm not disappoint, I'm upset that he's not doing the same effort I'm doing.

MY FAVORITE ALBUM!!

I love so many bands but this one and this fucking album makes me go to another world

INFAMOUS