Damn...

Hi!! How r u?? Hope u good ^^

As I said for myself: this blog is like a Twitter but long for me 

How do I know if I'm mentally unstable? I know I have a little anxiety, I already took meds but I stopped recently and some things started to happen and I don't know if I had then before stop the meds and they just cover it for me or if I just started feeling symptoms of another thing.

I've always been lazy, confused abt myself, my patience extremely low and just want to give up of everything.

For the past months just got worst, not so bad that it's something serious I think but I've been having some thoughts that I've never had before, like drink or use drugs for forget everything even nothing too bad happened, I just want to forget everything around me and stay in the corner forever just existing, for some weeks the same thought been passing through my head 24/7, cut myself, I was scared and shocked bc this never happened and it was an ABSURD desire to do this, in my head it would help with stress, I even took a knife from the kitchen when no one was looking and tried to cut but thank God all the knives here at home have dull blades because we don't know how to sharpen them lol, I tried to do with a razor blade we have here at home but I was to tremble to do this, I tried to don't do it and thankfully the thoughts went away a few days later. 

I'm trying to take more care of myself to see if I feel better abt my appearance so maybe I can stay a little more happy abt myself.

I still have some thoughts abt doping myself or just use something everyday to forget idk what, but I'm too scared, I've never liked drugs or that kind of thing. Idk what do do!

That's it for today, ty for reading

Have a nice day <3